He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
True strength comes from lack of pants
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
