there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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