I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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