I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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