She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
