if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
