Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
