if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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