I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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