two words: eviction party
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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