oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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