she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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