and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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