So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
