so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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