There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
