Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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