it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
