I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
