I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
the condom got lost in my hair
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
