Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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