Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
