Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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