i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
