Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
