Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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