so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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