Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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