Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
