You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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