Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
