Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
