i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
