Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
