There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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