What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
