I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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