This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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