I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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