K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
