That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
