Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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