they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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