it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
