I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
