Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
