Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The struggles of a small town man whore
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
