Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She even gives head with a lisp.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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