His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
