i can't believe i had my finger in that
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
