I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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